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Showing posts from May, 2009

Best Bands on Myspace

Why the Best Bands on Myspace?
Myspace has long lost its status as a safe haven for emo. Maybe hepatitis culled emo numbers a bit, but the Myspace target marget of late seems to be people in their late twenties who must like rap music, R & B and not so racy comedians. A lot.



The first thing you should do upon joining Myspace is to delete Tom Anderson as your friend. Who the fuck is that guy anyway? I don't want to be friends with someone who looks like he washed his mom's car with his shirt and then put it on as some kind of post modern fashion statement. He looks like he cut his own hair. With a lawn mower.

The second thing you should do on Myspace is to search for metal bands. The bands listed here are mostly unknown, unsigned and willing to give away free mp3s so you can form a good idea of their music. If you disagree with my opinion, I can't help that you have good taste, but feel free to rant about it in the comment section.

The third thing I did was look for busty p…

Human by Death review

Last year, I had a Month of Megadeth during May. May is my birthday month so I like to do something special. Something so special that I won't forget it during the inevitable bouts of drinking and debauchery. This year, I'm having a Death Month.
Human
Symbolic
The Sound of Perseverance
Conclusion
Chuck Schuldiner basically hires Cynic as his backing band and together they craft one of the most skin tearing albums of all time.


Review
The album opens with Sean Reinert's incredible drumming fading in. From there, the riffs exchanged between Chuck and Paul Masvidal are tighter than the fix Government Motors (er, General Motors) finds itself in. Widely regarded as Death's finest moment, I prefer Symbolic but Human is certainly just as flawless.

The lyrics are introspective to the point of becoming existential. They deal with euthanasia, masks people wear to project a desired, distorted image to the world and simply with being human. This prompts some questions about what it means t…

Sound of Perseverance by Death review

Last year, I had a Month of Megadeth during May. May is my birthday month so I like to do something special. Something so special that I won't forget it during the inevitable bouts of drinking and debauchery. This year, I'm having a Death Month.
Human
Symbolic
The Sound of Perseverance
Conclusion
Unfortunately, due to Chuck Schuldiner's untimely demise, this album is the last Death album. Fortunately, it shows Death still at the height of their game.



Review
There's not much you can do after making a stellar skin tearing, eyeball boiling album like Symbolic. Except perhaps to intensify the skin tearing and eyeball boiling. Even after listening to a few prior Death albums non-stop for a few weeks and familiarising myself with them, this album still took me by surprise. Usually, I'm like a Ninja and not much takes me by surprise. Except surprise itself. Must be my raging caffeine addiction.

Despite all the sandal melting metal, there is also the painfully beautiful melancholy…

Symbolic by Death review

Last year, I had a Month of Megadeth during May. May is my birthday month so I like to do something special. Something so special that I won't forget it during the inevitable bouts of drinking and debauchery. This year, I'm having a Death Month.
Human
Symbolic
The Sound of Perseverance

Conclusion
This is one of those desert island disks. If a time capsule of our time is ever discovered, I would like for whoever digs it up to find some Death albums in there to create the impression that this is the kind of quality we appreciated in our time. None of that Pop Idol shyte, although they are plastic enough not to be biodegradable so they'd probably outlast any time capsule.



Review
The legendary Chuck Schuldiner and the Atomic Clock Gene Hoglan. As if that's not enough to make with the metal horns, Kelly Conlon plays bass and Bobby Koelble trades some impressive Cockzilla monster cock size riffs with Chuck.

As is typical of Death, the album is as good as the musicians who play with …

Why Censorship is a Bad Idea

Look at what censorship could do to the famous I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears, and sweat speech of Sir Winston Churchill:



"We shall go on to the end, we shall CENSORED in France, we shall CENSORED on the seas and oceans, we shall CENSORED with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our Island, whatever the cost may be, we shall CENSORED on the beaches, we shall CENSORED on the landing grounds, we shall CENSORED in the fields and in the streets, we shall CENSORED in the hills; we shall never surrender..!"

Somehow, getting the full story seems less shocking.

Twilight Review by Sally Partridge

Sally Partridge is a popular South African writer of lewd teen fetish novels, which are not quite as explicit as those of Anne Rice. They aren't littered with that many adjectives and they don't take that long to get to the point. Her latest foray into this awkwardly popular genre, Fuse, will be released shortly despite the original publishing house burning down. Metal!

This is her guest post here on The Necro Files, because I am too busy procrastinating in the process of making the Herzbot facebook application right now to make any meaningful contribution to my blog.

Review
What do you get if you mix a lonely teenage emo starting out in a new school, a family of hungry vampires, a group of hungry nomad vampires and a horny werewolf?

The Twilight movie.

The film starts with Bella Swan (romantic, no?) saying goodbye to her old home, then pans dramatically over her new one and then pans some more. The cinematographer really wants you to take in how pretty Forks is, or else he might …

Emo Pinocchio

How do you like emo Pinocchio?

The Last.fm Straw

The Internet is a wonderful invention. Like the discovery of fire, the invention of the wheel, Gutenberg's printing press, fermentation, distillation, the Brazilian wax and XML, it revolutionised our lives. One of the reasons why the Internet has staying power is because everything you could possibly think of is available within a few clicks. Eel porn? Yip. Midgets mud wrestling? Probably. Rants against people who call midgets midgets instead of little people? Yes. Mothers Against Drunk Driving? Of course. Drunk Drivers Against Mad Mothers? Slayer be praised! Indeed. The Internet also has less educational side effects like Sparknotes and MIT's entire university course material. Free!

Why is this web of intrigue so damn intriguing? Everything is free! Until recently, you didn't have to sit through propaganda of adverts to see a streaming video on youtube. You certainly didn't have to worry about licensing rights to listen to a song on Last.fm. Now you do.

Last.fm Man Stan…