Darker Days Ahead by Terrorizer (2006) Review

Conclusion
Pete Sandoval on drums and the Mexecutioner, Jesse Pintado, on guitar for the last album he recorded before he sadly passed away due to a liver that couldn't keep up with the party. It is the only grindcore album I own, and my knowledge of the genre is limited to singing along to a few Anal Blast songs, so take my review with a pinch of salt and a shot of tequila. But I like it.

After recently reading up on clostridium botulinum, I decided this little fellow is so awesome that I had to dedicate most of my new layout to the bacterium. You may know c.botulinum as food poisoning or Botox, but I know it as the cause of botulism. Probably the most toxic substance known, a 2 kg bag of c.botulinum has enough potential to destroy mankind. Cthulhu would however make for a more cinematic apocalypse.


That's what could be lurking in your baked beans. Image taken from marlerblog.com.

According to the Centre for Disease Control and Prevention, some of the favourite party tricks of c.botulinum include:

• double vision


• drooping eyelids


• slurred speech


• dry mouth


• difficult swallowing


• muscle weakness, and eventually muscular paralysis

Quite a little terrorizer.

Review

• All of the music is written by Pete Sandoval (Morbid Angel) and Jesse Pintado. Expect killer riffs and lots of brutality, although I found for the most part this album is less taxing than most grindcore out there. Read: sick, but slightly more melodic. If you are a grindcore purist, this might not be a good thing. I mean all the tracks are longer than a minute.


• Pete Sandoval's drumming may cause double vision.


• Anthony Rezhawk does a rasp of Cerberus similar to Steve Tucker's very own bark. Could just be my recent overdose of Morbid Angel, but this is the kind of growling I like. He also wrote all the lyrics. In proud grindcore tradition, a couple of verses are offered, after which the song title is repeated a few times. This is not rocket science, but it is good for shaking your fist. I said Cerberus, not cerebral.


• Ghost Train is a kind of piano and skull-fucking double bass pedal drumming interlude. The kind that would make Jaws float upside down. This track could cause drooping eyelids. Even for sharks.


• Apocalyptic visions delivered in slurred speech, with a slight tequila and mescaline nasal drip. Ah, tequila. Just the thing for a dry mouth.


• The fact that all the tracks are longer than a minute makes for difficult swallowing. Similar to health drugs. But that's only if you are a grindcore purist. Sandoval plays in one of the founding bands of technical death, so a little meandering is expected with the brutality. Rest assured - there's enough complexity to merit an average of 3,5 minutes per track.


• Muscle weakness? No, there's not much of that here. This is a review for Terrorizer, not c.botulinum. But if you've ever had one of those 24 hour fill-station shop pies, I'm sure you could write a good review of c.botulinum, or at least salmonella enteritidis.

Track listing

1. Inevitable


2. Darker Days Ahead


3. Crematorium


4. Fallout


5. Doomed Forever


6. Mayhem


7. Blind Army


8. Nightmare


9. Legacy of Brutality


10. Dead Shall Rise V.06


11. Victim of Greed


12. Ghost Train

Personell

• Tony Norman: bass; vocals.


• Jesse Pintado: guitar.


• Anthony Rezhawk: vocals.


• Pete Sandoval: drums.

Rating

Iron Maiden Live After Death DVD Review

What does a hot milf have to do with Iron Maiden? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I put in random hot milfs and text with hot hot porn saki saki hot sex midget sex alien lesbian tentacle sex milf sex milf hunt on my site to get hits.

Conclusion

No broken home should be without one.

Iron Maiden “Live After Death” DVD

The legendary “Live After Death” concert from 1984. It has the sickest cover in metal history. Looking at it is like someone casting my hand in the metal hand sign.



It was previously released on VHS. Surviving video cassette copies are as scarce as decent Metallica albums after Cliff Burton died. The Irons have never done it small, with the notable exception of a few tasteful Asian groupies perhaps.

If you ever woke up after a really rough night only to discover the foul stench of camel dung and the mesmerising panorama of the sun rising over the sphinx, you might experience a sense of deja-voodoo when you witness the stage décor.

You might also consider cutting down a little on the partying.

There are Eddies here colossal enough to take on all the Transformers. They are nearly robust enough to take on Andrea Dworkin and live to tell the tale.


Andrea Dworkin. Gladiators, are you ready?

Highlights

• The epic mullet of Bruce Dickinson.


• Iron Maiden's god-like spandex immunity.


• In the Martin Birch produced stereo audio setting, you can get Dave Murray's guitar through the left speaker, and Adrian Smith's guitar through the right speaker. Multiple eargasms!


• Kevin Shirley did a 5.1 Dobly Surround Sound Satan-O-Phonic mix, but I didn't bother because Kevin Shirley tried to turn Dream Theater into Marillion.


• On the bonus disk (which has a shitload on it), a Polish gent tells Bruce that he wants to mek havee mettle with a synthesiser. Bruce responds with: “No. You can't play heavy metal with a synthesiser.” Well, you can't.


• Scream for me Long Beach!


• Did I mention the cover is awesome?


• Unholy fuck it's an Iron Maiden DVD!! How much more convincing do you need? Infidel!

”Scream for me Long Beach!”

Rating

W.A.S.P - The Crimson Idol (1992) review

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Review
You might argue that W.A.S.P is in fact hair metal, or at best shock rock. I maintain there's a world of a difference between the lawlessness of W.A.S.P and the sugary radio friendly ballads of Poison that make Bon Jovi seem loud. It's all relative. When the likes of Mötley "umlaut" Crüe, W.A.S.P and Venom came around, they were doing something outrageous for their time. When Poison came along, they were cashing in on the popularity of the Crüe, minus the risk of arson to their hotel. W.A.S.P is pure heavy metal, Poison is good business sense.

The Crimson Idol was originally conceived as a Blackie Lawless solo album. The reasons were that Blackie had been the only remaining member left in the band by the time the nineties came around, with the rest succumbed to drugs, rehab or foul, tempting wenches. One of these succubi is Chris Holmes, as you can plainly see:



Corporate pressures ensured that Blackie put the W.A.S.P moniker on the album, due to the marketing stunt known as branding. Critics disregard the Idol as a lacklustre attempt, but what do critics know anyway? Critics are spineless, megalomaniacs who couldn't write a song if Cthulhu put them to sleep and they woke up with the sheet music in their hands. Critics couldn't hold a tune if it were duct taped... to... their... foreheads. Wait, something about a pot and a kettle?

Moving along swiftly. The Crimson Idol is a concept album, written by a rock star, about the life of a rock star. Now this fained attempt at metarockstardom might seem revolutionary to those unfamiliar with Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars or the Monkees, but it's really flogging a dead horse. Imagine how much this horse resembled biltong by the time Marilyn Manson made Antichrist Superstar, several years after the Crimson Idol came out. As far as concept albums go, the first popular one is arguably Tommy by The Who. Tommy has a fairly captivating story about a deaf, dumb, blind kid who drowns but didn't literally drown since drowning here is a metaphor for getting over your ego and becoming one with the one true ideal ego, young grasshopper. The songwriting is excellent and the standard of musicianship is high. These aspects are also found in the Crimson Idol. What it lacks in concept is definitely compensated for in the songwriting department. It might just be my imagination, or my love for Tommy (now don't read anything into that, emo), but the drums on Crimson Idol remind me of the unmistakable drumming of Keith Moon on many of the songs.

Like all true heavy metal albums, this album has its obligatory share of power ballads. It might be a good idea to have something flammable handy so you could sway a light from side to side during these. Like a cat. Clean singing has lately fallen out of favour with metal bands outside of Europe (the band and the continent). However, there is but one Rob Halford, and but one Blackie Lawless. Blackie manages to find the balance between writing a plain song and experimenting with a bit of complexity without compromising either.

Conclusion
Feast your ears on the Tommy of the nineties. On the Dimmu Borgir DVD, you will hear W.A.S.P ringing through the tour bus and the corridors on several occasions. Most bands do not know their roots, this is why they try to reinvent the wheel around every turn. If the metalcore/rap metal/mallcore bands had W.A.S.P ringing through their tour bus instead of the occasional Metallica and idiotic (c)rap, they would be inventing Harley Davidsons instead of kick scooters. The RDA of W.A.S.P is two tracks, three times a day. It is the cure that most bands desperately need to be more than second rate cover bands. Baby steps. The Crimson Idol brings out the manimal in you.

Track listing

1. The Titanic Overture


2. The Invisible Boy


3. Arena of Pleasure


4. Chainsaw Charlie (Murders in the New Morgue)


5. The Gypsy Meets the Boy


6. Doctor Rockter


7. I Am One


8. The Idol


9. Hold on to my Heart


10. The Great Misconceptions of Me

Personell
Blackie Lawless: vocals; guitars; bass guitar; keyboards.
Bob Kulick: lead guitar.
Frankie Banali: drums.
Stet Howland: drums.

Rating

PANTERA - Reinventing Hell (their best of)

Actually, the best of Pantera can be found at Metal Sludge's tribute to all things Phil Anselmo's hairpsray.

As you can clearly see, at their inception Pantera had an overly glam image. This image, like a brainslug from outer space, had complete control over its hosts. Their glam image forced them to dress like She-Ra. Fortunately, bouts of Jack Daniels-fuelled fueds with fellow Texans considerably toughened their skins and they kicked out the metallic jams short before long.

Dimebag Darrell (R.I.P) became the patron saint of nineties shredding with his manic chromatic runs, his Eddie van Halen-style riffs and his Ace Frehley inspired stage moves. Not to mention his trademarks - the Dean guitar and the She-Ra purple beard.

Rumour has it that old Phil indulged too much in drugs and became somewhat difficult to work with. This is why the later Pantera albums fell a little short of the glory. I gave Damageplan a few spins, it was not too bad at all. Actually, I really liked their singer and it sounded like Dimebag got a bit of his old magic back.
The Cowboys from Hell is a classic album, with more 80s style singing than the later growls Phil Anselmo tried. I still think it is their most solid album, even though it does not contain their most well-known tracks.


In view of this, your best bet would probably be to get the greatest hits. All their party anthems are here on one disk, back to back.