Is Slayer louder on Mars?

Spending 9,5 hours per day in a cubicle under the steady glare of LCD monitors tends to make you ponder the deeper meaning of life. You start asking seriously deep questions, such as:

Is Slayer louder on Mars?

Mars, slightly redder than Uranus.

Factors that contribute to loudness

Loudness is a subjective measure that indicates the intensity of a sound that a person experiences. For the greater glory of Slayer, it is more apt to use less subjective standards of measure such as decibels. The decibel is the unit of sound pressure, so regardless of how loud the tree in the forest is when it falls, you can still measure the sound pressure even if you can't necessarily hear it. The decibel is a logarithmic unit of measurement that expresses the magnitude of a physical quantity relative to a reference level.

What would be our reference level?

For our reference, we may choose the theoretical maximum pressure of sound on planet earth at standard atmospheric pressure level. This is 101 325 Pa, which is the equivalent of 194,094 db, which is kak loud. The threshold of pain for audio lies at 134 db, so Slayer this loud could cause your ears to bleed. Only recommended for true fans.

How do we determine the theoretical maximum pressure of sound on Mars?

This is a little more tricky because Mars isn't 30 seconds away just yet. However, with some creative accounting we might get there. Sound pressure depends on the medium that carries the sound. Our reference level is already measured at standard atmospheric pressure, so all we need is the standard atmospheric pressure on Mars. This is about 0,7 % of the average surface pressure at sea level on Earth, meaning we have (0,7 x 101 325) / 100 which is 709,275 Pa. This is the equivalent of 150,996 db, which is considerably softer (I used this handy sound level calculator).

What would Slayer sound like on Mars?

Carbon dioxide is the main component of Mars's atmosphere so you ecological fascists should really be taxing Martians instead of your terrestrial slaves. Carbon dioxide comprises of 95 % of Mars's atmosphere. The main components of the Earth's atmosphere are Nitrogen (78 %) and Oxygen (21 %).

The molar mass of Carbon Dioxide is greater than that of Nitrogen and Oxygen combined. Even though the molar mass of Mars's atmosphere is greater than that of the Earth, the area of Mars's atmosphere is much larger. Pressure depends on force per pressure area. More molar mass means greater force, but a greater pressure area means less resulting pressure, despite a greater molar mass.

Thus, on Mars, Slayer would sound softer, but also lower. If you like it loud, be thankful that we evolved on Earth and not on Mars, otherwise it might sound like Brad Roberts is singing for Slayer! There are a few samples of what sound would theoretically sound like on Mars on the Mars Microphone page.

Slayer gets the traffic of The Beast!

Read this post while listening to the theme from The Twilight Zone. In an uncanny turn of events, my review for Slayer's Divine Intervention managed to get The Traffic of the Beast!



Woohoo!

Review of Politics of Ecstasy by Nevermore

Conclusion

Soaring vocals, snarling guitar riffs and incredibly inventive playing. Plus it is a concept album, so I'm sold.

Review

Jeff Loomis plays guitar for Nevermore. You really should need no further convincing, but Pat O'Brien exchanges riffs of Hades with Loomis on this album. It rarely gets better than this.

It took me quite a while to get used to Van Williams' metronome-like drumming. At first, I didn't really get into it because I am accustomed to flashy drummers like Richard Christy, who employ loads of cymbals. After a while, the incredible precision took its toll and I can't really picture any other drummer in Nevermore.

Van Williams employs more drums, making his playing more brutal. That's the ultimate strength of this band - every player is a merited working part of the machine. This reminds me of what Legalism had in mind for government.

Legalism as personified by Nevermore

Legalism is one of the four prominent schools of Chinese philosophy during their Spring and Autumn period, the others being Taoism, Confucianism and Mohism.

Taoism deals with the true nature of matters, which is why Megadeth and Slayer personify Taoism in my books. Confucianism taught an unconditional hierarchy of specialised filial relationships while Mohism taught equality of all people, and these are not really applicable to Nevermore (or anywhere else, really).

Legalism on the other hand focuses on trying to establish a meritocracy.

Han Fei's proposals for leadership under legalism

1. Fa: Law or principle. It is obvious that metal is the law for Nevermore. Legalism considers all people equal before the law, but holds that the law must punish those who break the law and reward those who abide by it. This is why Trivium is punished with bottles of piss and Necrophagist is rewarded with awesome Ibanez guitar endorsements.


2. Shu: Secret tactics. These are used by the ruler to maintain the law. Nobody should be able to fathom the tactics of rule to the extent that they would want to establish rule by themselves. The idea is that subjects would see no other alternative to getting ahead other than following the law.
   
   When they follow the law, they think they are acting towards their own benefit. In principle, they are acting towards their own benefit within the meritocracy but they are also acting towards maintaining harmony. Nevermore's secret tactics include hiring jaw-dropping session musicians like Chris Broderick.


3. Shi: Legitimacy. The position of the ruler must hold power in itself by virtue of the law. The ruler is merely the catalyst for the law. Jeff Loomis is definitely a legitimate guitar god any way you look at it - legally or illegally.

Metal became known for death vocals lately, but some exponents still stick to the standards of Dio, Halford and Dickinson. Nevermore is one such band. While the vocals does get rough at points, it never goes into death growls. This means you can actually hear what Warrel Dane is singing about. Unlike Metallica, it's not a case of you'd rather not hear the tripe he is singing.


Jeff Loomis. Guitar god by day, merchant of menace by night.

The album title is from the book by Dr Timothy Leary of the same name, however Dane has stated that the album is more about control issues and spirituality than better living through chemistry. Thus, the album has more in common with politics than ecstasy. You really need not concern yourself with any of these concepts. The ultimate proof of a successful concept album is that the music speaks for itself, and it does on all Nevermore albums.

Track listing

1. The Seven Tongues of God


2. This Sacrament


3. Next in Line


4. Passenger


5. The Politics of Ecstasy


6. Lost


7. The Tiananmen


8. Precognition


9. 42147


10. The Learning


11. Love Bites (Bonus track)

Personell

• Warrel Dane: vocals.


• Jim Sheppard: bass.


• Jeff Loomis: guitar and rapture.


• Pat O'Brien: guitar.


• Van Williams: drums.

Rating

Review of Divine Intervention by Slayer

Conclusion

The first real metal album I ever heard, and still probably the best. This is a completely biased review, because I love this album more than I love blonde lesbians making out with me.

I love this album almost as much as I love blonde bisexual girls making out with me. Every metal album I have heard since has been measured by Divine Intervention. The album, not the cow probing or the Elvis Presley U.F.O sightings.



Blonde bisexual girls making out with each other. Just kidding, this is 213 performed live by Slayer. Hell yeah!

Review

This album came out in 1994, the year grunge king Kurt Cobain committed suicide. Grunge was all the rage. Slayer hasn't delivered an album since 1990's Seasons In The Abyss. Since then, they lost a key member – drummer Dave Lombardo. Will Slayer bow down to the slacker grunge mediocrity of Pearl Jam and Nirvana? Nay nay.

Slayer gets new drummer Paul Bostaph to introduce this album with some wild drum rolls. After that, you get some awesome riffs with enough tempo changes to make Yes or King Crimson envious.

The seminal Thrash band is no stranger to controversy. Since the days of Angel of Death, Slayer has endorsed morbid imagery – enough so to cause some critics to accuse them of Satanic and Neo-Nazi views. Slayer adds fuel to the fire with Divine Intervention, firstly with the sleeve. The cover has a skeleton on a pentagram formed by swords – the band's emblem of sorts.

On the disk, you will find the image of a fan with the word 'Slayer' slashed into each wrist. I can just imagine how this lead to much misguided dabbling in Satanism and self-harm.

Various newspaper clippings are portrayed on the inside of the sleeve, with selected words blacked out. In typical anti-censorship, anti-government and anti-religious control stance. Albums like these are like alchemy. They turn you into metal.


Jane Austen, in all her pride and prejudice. Don't let her Victorian dress or her hessian underthings fool you. This lady had a bitter satirical bite. Apparently, she was no Slayer fan either.

Lyrically, this is no Jane Austen novel either.

• SS-3 refers to the license plate number of the car Reinhard Heydrich travelled in when he was shot.


• 213 is based on the dealings of Jeffrey Dahmer. 213 refers to his apartment number.

Reynhard Heydrich. Don't let the fancy suit fool you. This is a wicked, wicked man. Apparently, he's no Jane Austen fan either.

213 also features some of the sickest metal lyrics ever.

Death, love's final embrace
Your cool tenderness
Memories, keep love alive
Memories, will never die

Doesn't look like much, but once you know what the song is about it gets a bit more chilly.

Definitely still one of my favourite metal albums.

Track listing

1. Killing Fields


2. Sex. Murder. Art.


3. Fictional Reality


4. Dittohead


5. Divine Intervention


6. Circle of Beliefs


7. SS-3


8. Serenity in Murder


9. 213


10. Mind Control

Personell

• Tom Araya: bass; vocals.


• Jeff Hannemann: guitar.


• Kerry King: guitar.


• Paul Bostaph: drums.

Rating