Roger Ebert gets a badass review

Roger Ebert has been sticking his thumbs up and down like a Roman emperor since time immemorial. His general premise is that your movie sucks and he goes at great pompous lengths to convince you that it does.

Since I am an avid horror fan, it is inevitable that Roger Ebert thinks some of my favourite movies suck.

Now the tables have turned. I asked some of the BlogCatalog bloggers to review Roger Ebert in 250 words or less. This is the result of the highly scientific experiment. That's highly scientific according to the broad definition of science as subscribed to by Dr Michael Behe, whose definition also includes intelligent design and astrology. No, I'm not making that up.

Eberthator 2: Judgement Day

In typically grand bigger and better American fashion, I made this parody of the Terminator 2: Judgment Day film poster. Strangely enough, when it comes to writing the English language, Americans prefer smaller and not better. That's why I called it 'Judgment Day' and not judgement day. Hey, no child left behind requires some degree of compromise.

Your reviews of Roger Ebert

"Being gay is not a bad thing, unless you're Roger Ebert (the homeliest closet homosexual evar). Two thumbs up where the sun don't shine for him." Krapsody


"Writing about movies is like dancing about plumbing." Jack Payne


"I quite like him, actually. But if I wanna see a movie, I don't let a critic convince me otherwise." Drowseymonkey


"I used to agree with Gene Siskel a lot more than Roger Ebert. There's one thing about movie reviewers, though: there are no experts. Sure, some might know more about movies, but their tastes in movies aren't any better than anyone else's." Ben Hoffman


"I would review Roger Ebert as being totally clueless. Yeh if you are about 100 you might agree with him, but aside from that, if he hates it, most likely I am gonna love it." Lil' Blog of Horrors



"He should take a long deserved vacation somewhere he can't watch films." Wehireu


"I felt, when it was Siskel and Ebert, Ebert's reviews were a bit more of a practical/everyman viewpoint than Siskel's were, which were typically pretty harsh. Reviewing on the web, however, is a whole new bag of popcorn." Thrift Shop Romantic

My babes and badasses reviews

• A bit of badass ithyphallic death metal in the shape of Black Seeds of Vengeage by Nile.


• Some babes in tight PVC as found in the lycans versus vampires film Underworld.


• Badasses who sometimes look like babes in Dr Feelgood by Motley Crue