14 February 2006

KING CRIMSON - Eyes Wide Open (2 DVD set of live performances

I am glad this Art Rock masterpiece is certified “A” by the moral watch dogs at F.P.B. Thanks to their sniffing about, the chaotic fury and harshness of reality are now completely tame. Children can mature into fully grown pansies without suspecting the existence of even an ounce of evil in the world. Imagine the surprise their first inner city mugging will provide. It will also have a soothing effect to whoever finds my collection of severed heads, my collection of unrated (and certainly uncertifiable) plush Cthulhu toys and my collection of Asian midget minor porn to see an all-ages DVD basking in a halo of certified, restricted sanctity at my pad. Ah, Asian midget minors. They grow up so fast, but how can you tell?


At least for the time being, my lair of hedonistic indulgement remains undiscovered and the world remains a safer place thanks to F.P.B and censorship in general. You may settle down and allow KING CRIMSON to unleash their sonic debauchery in the comfort of your own home - even in front of the kids. If you are prepared to accept that they have left the court of the Crimson King decades ago, it is absolutely brilliant. This DVD set has it all: the clinical precision of the band who humbles pop bands like TOOL to this very day, unbridled improvisations reminding one of mankind's feral days before censorship, musicians who literally strangle sounds from their instruments and even newly invented instruments. Their brand of calculated chaos testifies of one thing - this is a band who has never spoken the word compromise. Add a hint of Fripp's famous enigma wrapped inside a mystery persona and a dash of the "Ghost in the Shell" factor which causes random tracks every time you play it, and you wonder how they managed to fit it all on only 2 DVDs. It also makes me wonder how many DVDs the uncensored version would require, and how good that one must have been. Perhaps the universe is not ready for a second Big Bang and 2 DVDs cramped with sheer genius will have to suffice for us mere mortals. Experience the delight of brilliant ideas executed perfectly. From beginning to end and back to square one - this is not reinventing the wheel but travelling completely in a different dimension. Censored or not, it is bound to be a bumpy ride. Take your vertigo pills, secure your safety belts and indulge.

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