Blogs 4 Free Press

Apparently the ANCYL (whose members are all rather old to be in the YOUTH league) are trying to censor the press. It is thanks to the press, you see, that we know about their dodgy dealings with mining conglomerates and all the grey cats that Jacob Zuma likes to tickle in the dark. The obvious solution here is not to fix the problems, but to prevent us from knowing about the problems. Well, there's just one thorn in the side of this solution:

The Bill of Rights

The section on freedom of speech:

Everyone has the right to freedom of expression, which includes

1. freedom of the press and other media;


2. freedom to receive or impart information or ideas;


3. freedom of artistic creativity; and


4. academic freedom and freedom of scientific research.

That's all there is to it, really. So please join me in saying fuck the ANCYL while we are still allowed to say it.

For more information, see Chris Roper's blog.
Also see Sipho Hlongwane's blog.

Note that I put the image on the far left. That's just a coincidence, honest.

The political theory of evolution

This is the theory of evolution as it applies to politicians. Most of us have seen this picture:


Evolution as it applies to us cubicle dwellers.

Why do politicians always have one hand in the air?

I noticed the other day that politicians always seem to have one hand in the air. This must be something their life coaches or NLP gurus teaches them.

Following this observation, I found a few pictures of politicians and this is the evolution I noticed:







Obviously, Jeremy Cronin has to be the least evolved out of the three politicians I chose. This because he is the South African Communist Party deputy secretary general. Anybody who has been involved with communism for that long without having heard of Russia, Cuba and Cambodia's histories and connecting the dots has to be a few leather studs short of a kinky. He also has his arm and his hand the lowest of the three.

Next in line is Julius Malema. You can see he is more evolved because he needs less supportive eye wear and he has the gall to raise his hand higher. This is not making a cabinet, this is about making cabinet, so Julius is in his element. Like a pig in shit.

Finally, we have the politician who dared to raise his hand higher than them all: Adolf Hitler. A good example of why us commoners should stay out of politics entirely and leave it to the blue blood. Not the Blue Bull fans.

My fellow South Africans, I urge you to censor our politicians. We have to ensure that they do not dare to raise their hands this high when they are talking to us. Correlation does not imply causality, but it could imply casualties if we are not careful. Our politicians should not be allowed to raise their hands, unless of course they want to put them over their mouths. For this reason, we should embed the following command in all TelePrompTers: "Raise your hand, but not as high as Hitler did" .

Julius Malema Wikipedia entry hacked!

I don't know how long the Julius Malema Wikipedia entry would be up as is, but have a look and see if it still resembles this:

Vox populi, vox dei?

The intercourse with baboons and pigs part is going to require a ^{[citation needed]}. The sad part is, the truly degrading parts are all true.